Righting the wrongs of parenthood through partnership
“The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them.”
– Ida B. Wells
As we prepared to celebrate Father’s Day last Sunday, social media was abuzz with debates surrounding whether Jamaicans should cut out what many consider the unbecoming culture of cursing out ‘deadbeat’ or absent fathers and highlighting single mothers who, supposedly, have taken on the dual role of being both mother and father to their children. A day prior, on Saturday 19 June, I was invited to an event hosted by Fathers’ Incorporated in association with the Faculty of Social Sciences at the University of the West Indies, Mona. The special virtual Father’s Day event was dubbed “Daddy Matters” and highlighted 30 years of Fathers Inc’s indelible impact and contribution in debunking the myths and stigma attached to fathers in the Jamaican context. It showcased a series of presentations by renowned scholars such as Dr. Herbert Gayle, Prof. Christopher Charles, Dr. Rosemarie Johnson, Mr. Roxroy Campbell and Prof. Patricia Anderson.
I found the presentations informative and thought-provoking. They highlighted serious personal and societal issues which stemmed from the absenteeism of fathers. While it would be unjust of us to blame all of society’s problems on absent fathers, we cannot negate the responsibilities of fathers, the duty of care they owe their children and the severe impact their absence has on children, which undoubtedly has a spillover effect on the society.
The impact of father deprivation is very severe. Studies have shown that children without fathers are more likely to display violent behaviours, join gangs and/or end up in prison, and twice as likely to drop out of school. However, as was reported by McLean, over the years the presence of fathers has increased as fathers have started taking an increased interest in the lives of their children. Yet, the country continues to be plagued by gangs and various forms of crime and violence, which therefore suggests that these issues go much deeper than merely the absence of fathers.
Can a mother be a father?
This is a very sensitive question and has been the centre of numerous debates over the years. Edith Clarke’s 1957 study entitled My Mother Who Fathered Me, highlights the relatively minor role played by fathers in families and, particularly, in the lives of their children. In her conclusion, she asserted that this absence resulted in the exertion of mothers in attempting to fill the gap created by fathers. However, beyond the obvious argument of genetics, a mother cannot fill the role of a father as was highlighted in Charles’ presentation, entitled ‘The Importance of Fathers to Girls.’ He outlined that fathers have a unique and specific role in the lives of their children, one which a mother, no matter how hard she tries, cannot perform. He further highlighted the effects fathers have on their daughters, and how their presence or absence can shape a woman, ultimately stating that it is difficult for a [girl] child to thrive without a father. One such negative implication discussed was the lack of emotional stability and the possible onset of clinical depression caused by an absent father, both of which have their additional unique traits.
Throughout the presentations one thing was emphasised – the need for pragmatic partnerships between mothers and fathers, and greater involvement of fathers in the lives of their children, to foster the growth and nurture of healthy individuals and to mitigate the negative effects caused by the absence of fathers. Both parents have collective and specific roles to play in the lives of their children, and the permanent absence of one parent undoubtedly results in an imbalance in the nurturing environment of the child, ultimately adding pressure on the parent who is present.
Jamaica has come a long way in righting the wrongs in parenthood, but we still have a far way to go in ensuring that both parents take on an active role through partnerships, to ensure that children are properly nurtured, and that the negative impacts brought on by parental absence can be reduced.
The event, Daddy Matters, can be viewed on YouTube via the following link: https://youtu.be/53v9ex7vfQ8
Yanique Mendez is a finalising B.Sc. student in Political Science at The University of the west Indies and was recently appointed to the Youth Advisory Council of Jamaica.
