Loneliness the silent killer in North America
In recent months, the spotlight has been focused on loneliness in our society. We all feel lonely from time to time, and everyone’s experience varies. Loneliness can be defined as a lack of meaningful social contact. One can be alone and feel absolutely fine with their own company, while another individual may be in the company of others or a group yet feel lonely because there is no meaningful social contact.
Across Canada and the USA, approximately 30 per cent of the population is estimated to have experienced loneliness. Recently the US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy reported to the Associated Press, “We know loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It is like hunger and thirst. It is a feeling that the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing”.
Loneliness has become a part of our lifestyle and has intensified since the COVID Pandemic with the extended period of lockdown and isolation. Studies have shown that the age group 16-24 years displays the highest level of loneliness among all cohorts in the population. It is believed that the excessive use of social media has compounded the problem. Social media provides a distorted sense of social contact and connection. It cannot, however, alleviate social, emotional, and existential loneliness, because there is no connection beyond the screen. The overstimulation from social media also exacerbates the condition of FOMO (fear of missing out) which also heightens loneliness.
If you put a group of preschoolers ages 4-6 years in a room for two hours, by the time the session is over they would all be playing and communicating with each other. They will all then go home ready to inform their parents of their newfound best friends. When the activity is simulated for teens 14-18 years old, they will get into the room and retreat into their private corner and get consumed by their cellphones. By the time the session is over, the most they would have done is to exchange casual remarks, no meaningful conversation.
Adults, on the other hand, find it more difficult to form casual relationships because they frequently perceive each other with skepticism. If I should approach someone in a communal space in the same way the preschooler did, the other person might be thinking what exactly does he want? What is he trying? Adults, in general, see friendship as transactional. In Canadian society, more individualistic people are less likely to be engaging in casual conversation or welcome individuals who are not in their circles.
The apparent prevalence of loneliness in the Caribbean is estimated at 15 per cent which is less than half of the reported percentage in North America. Caribbean people, and especially Jamaicans, are more likely to be engaging even with an absolute stranger. If you meet someone at the street corner or the bus stop on the bus or at the mall, they will typically engage you in full conversation. A former classmate and friend of mine from university who lives in Canada always look forward to going back to Jamaica on a regular basis. He said the exciting part for him was riding the buses in the city and from Kingston to Portland, where he is able to engage in full-on conversation with absolute strangers for the duration of his trip. This sort of behaviour would be frowned upon by individuals in public spaces like buses, trains, or subways in Canada as individuals are encapsulated in their little bubbles. Some time ago my teen daughter and I were out at the mall, and she saw another person of Caribbean descent in conversation with me and came asking if I knew the person. On finding out that I did not, she considered it very puzzling.
Loneliness is not a mental health issue but if left unresolved may lead to other physical and mental conditions. It may contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental conditions. Loneliness is linked with many mortal illnesses and premature deaths. It may increase the risk of arthritis, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, and strokes. Women and those 16-24 years old are said to experience the most elevated rates of loneliness in our society. Loneliness among the elderly population also leads to many undesirable actions against this group. Elderly individuals who are seeking companionship and intimate relationship are susceptible to relationship scams which sometimes fleece them of their life savings.
The incidence of loneliness may be on the increase in our society because of more individualistic trends. Fewer people are directly engaged in social organizations like churches and affiliated groups. In a 2019 survey from Statistics Canada, only 54 per cent of the population identify as being religious, down from 71 per cent four years earlier. Of those who identify as religious only 23 per cent attend a service at least once per month. Association with a faith-based organization provides more than just spiritual support, it opens up opportunities for all ages to forge friendships and allows for intergenerational interaction.
Fernon Wilson is an educator living in Canada.
